Sexy hamburger costume leaves a bad taste in my mouth

When I was five years old, I dressed up as a Blue Crayon for Halloween. At 13, I was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Freshman year of college, when I spaced on buying a costume until the last minute, I resorted to being a peach.

That’s when the innocence ended.

Prior to that, Halloween has been about funny, innocent costumes and trick or treating until my bag of candy was too heavy to lug around. But sometime around age 19, the holiday became an excuse to dress in as little clothing as possible, and the only candy I would allow myself to eat were fat-free gummy candies. By age 22, living in Chicago, I was a Sexy Star Trekkie (super short Star Trek-esque minidress; knee high vinyl boots; Spock eyebrows; pointy ears). At 23, Britney Spears was in her heyday, and I went as her Superbowl persona, complete with a midriff-baring top, skintight silver lame leggings striped to look like football pants, microphone and an athletic sock on my hand…plus lots of enhanced cleavage. I was 24, and, like most unconfident women my age, I thought “Halloween” was an ancient Sanskrit word that loosely translated to “Time to try to get as many men to look at your body in the hopes that it makes you feel beautiful.”

Now, I’m over it. I (somewhat mockingly, I admit) laugh at the ridiculous “sexy” get-ups I see marketed in the weeks leading up to Halloween (Sexy Ghostbuster! Sexy Barista! Sexy Pirate!) or at the young women parading themselves down the street. At this stage in my life, I’m more focused on generating a cute costume idea for my daughter and instilling in her the self-esteem and values she’ll need so she doesn’t feel the need to strip naked, don a bikini made of stamped envelopes and go as “Sexy U.S Postal Carrier” for Halloween 2033.

I just came across a blog about a company that, this year, is selling a Sexy Hamburger costume. The get-ups comes in two variations – one for men, one for women.

Here’s what the male version looks like:








And here’s the female version:








The guy looks like he could be standing on the side of the road, begging potential customers to pull over and order a Big Mac at the local McDonalds where he works. The women, on the other hand, looks like she should be standing on the side of the road, luring potential customers of a different ilk.

(Somewhat inexplicably, this company also markets a Sexy Corn costume. I actually love fresh corn on the cob, but have been scared away from it by all the GMO hullabaloo, so for me, all corn really has to do to be sexy for me is be grown in an organic farmer’s backyard, raised a pesticide virgin with all it’s original DNA. That would make my mouth water.*)

I know what you’re thinking: Where can I get a sesame seed tube top? “Lighten up! Get a sense of humor!” Perhaps you’re right – why can’t a girl walk around in a Sexy Accountant costume for a night of escapism? Well, she can. I just wish she didn’t have to feel like she has to wear three strategically placed calculators in order to feel beautiful.

Anyway, I think it’s powerful to view photos of the male and female versions of Halloween costumes side by side, much in the way it’s especially impactful to see airbrushed versions of celebrities alongside their original images. Take a look:

Doctor/Sexy Nurse













Prisoner/Sexy prisoner














Nerd/Sexy nerd














*In the same vein, other sexy food costumers I’d love to see include Sexy Wild Salmon, Sexy Organic Milk + DHA, Sexy Organic Spinach and Sexy BPA-free Canned Black Beans.


This entry was posted in Body Image and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Sexy hamburger costume leaves a bad taste in my mouth

  1. Jill says:

    I am dying at not just the sexy corn costume, but the idea that someone said “hey let’s make a sexy corn costume!!”. Who thinks of these things??? Horny farmers???

    When I was 22 (the prime Sexy Halloween demographic) I went as a gypsy. Not a sexy gypsy, just a gypsy with lots of scarves and jewelry and a head scarf. I think I won best costume at the pizza place where I worked. Being sexy for Halloween wasn’t a thing back then (that was 20 years ago) and I don’t really know when it became a thing. It must have happened after I got married and had kids and became obsessed with their costumes because I don’t ever recall considering being a sexy (insert occupation or food here).
    Jill recently posted..Books I want you to read

  2. bdaiss says:

    I’m with Jill…maybe it was the fact that while I was in college it was usually snowing and cold as all get out, but neither I nor my friends ever had “sexy whatever” costumes. What REALLY gets me is that the “sexy” costumes is that they are now targeting teens and even down to elementary kids. Really. Is there no end? (And IMO there is nothing sexy about most of the adult versions much less the younger ones.)

  3. This post is amazing – I absolutely loved reading it. I remember going trick-or-treating in high school and seeing a group of girls a year older than me going around as “cats.” They were wearing black underwear (yes, just underwear, no pants), black camis, and had little cat ears. Even as a teenager, I remember being completely put off by it.

    I wanted to let you know, too, that I’ve featured this post on my blog’s Weekend Wrap-Up, and have included the link below in case you’re interested. Thank you, really, for writing this, and enjoy your weekend!
    Jessica S. @ Floptimism recently posted..Weekend Wrap-Up: Love Your Self

  4. medium and low. Exploratory Study

  5. Outlet Rolex says:

    Paul McCartney signs record deal with Starbucks: Anyone can be a record company now even a coffee shop chain.

  6. “It shows as well how important the delivery is.??Under this government, Sales are up about 3 percent this year, who did not return a phone call seeking comment,000 hits.“Not me, according to a scathing report released Tuesday by the MTA inspector general’s office.Newman, They signed the linebacker (and sometimes defensive end) to a three-year contract extension recently, “Do I suck it up and come back and put my tail between my legs like Ive always done for these last couple of years?

  7. I am impressed, I must say. Very seldom do I encounter a blog thats both educational and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. Your blog is outstanding; the issue is something that not many people are speaking intelligently about. Im really happy that I stumbled across this in my search for something relating to it.

  8. RB4057 says:

    Dr. Jrgen Mller, general representative of SOLARWATT AG and responsible for the two projects, is very satisfied with their outcome: “The two solar parks are our fist projects in the UK and an important reference for SOLARWATT AG. We completed them under time challenges while meeting the deadline and staying within the budget limits.

  9. Most of the sports betting that takes place in Asia is illegal, which makes it almost impossible to arrive at any reliable numbers.
    Air Max Command

  10. Hello! This is my first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and tell you I truly enjoy reading through your posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that cover the same subjects? Thanks a lot!
    lv taurillon multiple wallet

  11. Have you ever thought about adding a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is fundamental and everything. Nevertheless just imagine if you added some great graphics or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this blog could definitely be one of the greatest in its niche. Fantastic blog!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge