So, I am now 35 years. Halfway to 70, as my (only slightly) younger brother so kindly called to remind me. May 1st has come and gone with nary a Great Dane to show for it (*pout*), but my husband did make a slew of other wishes come true, including my dream of having a sandwich named after me: I went into Starbucks and saw a big sign advertising their Java of the Day: “Lolly’s Birthday Blend – sweet and spicy, bold intensity, nutty finish, the brew favored by Britney Spears and 92% of Bravo reality stars.” (The eponymousfun didn’t stop there; my favorite bakery and salad shop were also featuring Leslie specials, including a whoopee pie with twice the frosting!)
Another stellar way to celebrate my big day? Watching my BlackBerry blow up with Facebook message after Facebook message – scores of happy wishes from close friends, blog fans, college flames, former bosses, my high school locker neighbor and more. Page after page of birthday wishes streamed through all day long, plastering a perma-grim on my punim. Even better: Not a single one said, “You have a lumpy, disgusting butt.”
Shocking, right? But in fact, the only person who ever says things like that to me is…yours truly. I know, I know, I’m a body image blogger and I talk a good game about loving yourself unconditionally. But I’m not superhuman, and horrid, self-defeating thoughts still creep in from time to time. But yesterday, as I scrolled through all the lovely, heartfelt messages, I thought to myself, “THIS is how I should treat myself. I need to see myself as other see me.”
Like this one from Jamie Len, a new friend I made after interviewing her for an espnW.com story: “HAPPY BDAY LG!!!! You are one of the most wonderful, entertaining, and inspirational woman I have ever known…and am honored to call u a friend!” Please note, she did not mention anything about what number pops up when I step on the scale, or the jar of peanut butter I pounded through last week.
Or this one from Annie, a treasured magazine editor: “Happy Birthday to a wonderful person:) ” Annie respects me for my writing skills, not my ability to squeeze into a Size 6.
Charlotte, a faraway blogger friend, wished me “a year full of Brazilians, hamburger bras and lunches with Morty. Not in that order.” Inside jokes, all – and proof that she pays attention, that she knows me, that she values what I have to say…even if it is something seemingly senseless about undergarments constructed with ground meat. And not one judgy mention of the chocolate cake with multiple frosting layers I took down last night.
My bestie, Amanda, wrote, “Love you, Lolly! This will be your best, most-blessed year! Xoxoxoxoxoxo, etc…..♥, Mandy.” Amanda knows some of the struggles I’ve endured in the past year, and her prediction for a blessing-filled year shows me she believes in me, that she wants what’s best for me – not that she cares about whether I have a six-pack.
And, as with many things in life, it was the words of a sage therapist who put everything in perspective. My friend Mary Jo typed “Leslie Goldman Alter, its your birthday!! Don’t forget to enjoy every single second and then go after a fabulous year.”
My birthday wish for all of you: A fabulous year filled with constructive, positive, healthy thoughts. Let’s give ourselves the gift of compassion, of kindness, of seeing ourselves through the eyes of those who love us for who we are, not what we look like.
Starbucks' special Java of the Day
Sweet Mandy B's special Whoopie Pie of the Day
Happy birthday!! I hope your year is filled with new adventures and lots of happy times!
And you’re spot on with this post…we really do need to view ourselves from others’ perspectives sometimes.
Your husband is amazing… and I love personalized birthday wishes too, especially since for the longest I didn’t have my birth-date showing.
Thanks for the bday wishes, Parita! And Kat, I agree – he is THE BEST!
Wow, this made me grin and grin and it’s not even my birthday! You are so right – we would never say the kinds of hurtful things to our friends that we often say to ourselves and even more we don’t even think them! (I had to narrow down our inside jokes to just 3 – there was another one about a Betsey Johnson tutu that looked like labia except on my butt – I’m saving it for next year). Ah, I wish I weren’t your “faraway” blogger friend;) Happy Birthday again and I agree with Amanda: this will be a blessed year for you!
Char – any excuse to have a combo labia-tutu comment on my blog, I’ll take it!
Happy belated birthday, Leslie! If I went on facebook more than once every three months maybe I would have noticed it was your birthday. And I can guarantee you that I would not have mentioned one single thing about your butt! You kick ass, you’re hilarious, you’re talented, you admit your faults, you’re amazing! I really hope this is your best year yet.
Aw, I was traveling and missed it! I’m so disappointed! Well I’m glad it was mostly good, though a Dane short of Great. (Funny, I’ve wanted a Dane for ever as well but my hubby is vehemently opposed.) Here’s to the start of a beautiful year with many more to follow!
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