My pump recently got frisked by the Secret Service at a Michelle Obama fundraiser.
She has also gone for more than a few spins on the highway, accompanied me in the kitchen while prepping dinner, and is slated to fly to Miami next week.
In light of all this traipsing around town, I thought it was only fitting that she nab her own Twitter account. When your breast pump has acquired more stamps than the average 36-year-old’s passport, it’s time to make her presence known:
Bio: Hard-working world traveler with a noisy engine and a feisty spirit. If I were a guy, I’d be a breast man. Got Milk? stole my line.
Pumpty’s inaugural tweet? “I’m a breast pump on a mission and with just the right amount of bad attitude. Follow me as I whir and grunt my way around town!”
Please follow my breast pump @ThePumptyDance. Retweet early and often. Soon, she’ll be whispering sweet nothings in your ear, making you laugh and just generally pumping you up.